Fire
by Emmel1118
Summary: Holby City Hospital is burning - and when two eminent surgeons are trapped in their office, some well kept secrets about loves lost will come out - Ric/Serena friendshipy thing and mentions of Serena/Edward and Ric/Diane.


_**a/n The idea for this one shot came to me after I started rewatching old series of Holby with Ric and Diane in along with the new eps. I watched Tuesday's Child the other day, I have to say, it definitely is my favourite episode of Holby - its just brilliant - closely followed by Locked Away. Also, I just like to make clear that in this story, Ric is back working on Keller and so is Serena. Anyways, on with the story. **_

Holby City Hospital is burning, Ric thinks to himself as the high pitch wail of the fire alarm drags on. It's been on for a good five minutes now, but he's in no hurry, it's not the first time and it won't be the last, he's sure. It's probably nothing, as he looks up and meets Serena's gaze. She looks annoyed, carefully slipping her paperwork back into the folder, and then sighing as she stands up. Ric pulls his glasses off and sets them down on the desk in front of him. He's tired and it's cold outside and he really doesn't fancy spending the next couple of hours standing in a freezing, rain spattered car park. He stands up a few seconds later, just as Serena speaks up from behind her own desk. Ric slips his Holby City Hospital issue jumper off the back of his chair and shrugs it on, as Serena talks. "I bet you it's just some stupid F1 who burnt some toast or something." She comments, wryly, standing up and following Ric to the door.

He reaches out to the handle, just as he notices something is wrong. Ric can feel heat as he touches metal and he can smell burning - combined with the droning ring on the fire alarm, he realises that Holby City Hospital is actually burning. This is way more serious than a F1 burning toast. Ric turns around and grimaces, looking Serena in the eye. He can tell she can smell the smoke too. Serena gives him a small nod before crossing the room to the windows. She throws them open and Ric touches the door again. He can feel the heat radiating through, and Ric closes his eyes. He can feel the first fingers of fear creeping into his mind. The hospital is on fire and Ric is pretty sure that he and Serena are trapped in their shared office. He's not certain though, the fire might not be that serious, all smoke and no fire - but Ric has inkling that it's much worse than that.

Serena's sitting on the window sill now, staring out into the dark, cold night as the rain pelts down. "Open the door." Serena says, softly, as Ric leans up against the wall.

"Serena-" He starts, but the fearsome consultant cuts in before he gets past her name.

"Open the door Ric; we need to know how bad the fire is." Serena orders, in voice that tells Ric not to mess with her. He shakes his head, he thinks they should call someone, find out what's happening before they go opening any doors with boiling door handles that reek of smoke. Ric reaches out and gingerly touches the handle, his brain telling him to pull away, that it's dangerous, that he shouldn't open the door. His instincts tell him that this fire is bad, very bad, and that he really shouldn't open this door.

Ric hasn't listened to his instincts in a long time.

He pulls the door open, and he knows before it happens that something is going to explode. Ric's right, as he opens the door, the whoosh of extra oxygen from the cooped up office whips the fire into a frenzy. Something explodes, he can hear it, but before he can shut the door, the blast knocks him off his feet. Before he hits the ground, he glimpses the carnage the fire has inflicted on the ward. Keller is gutted. He can feel the heat from the fire licking at him as he struggles up from his prone position. He manages to kick the door to, closing with a loud thud.

Ric looks up, and he sees Serena as pale as a sheet, still sitting on the window sill, her palms clenched so tight her knuckles have gone white. Ric makes it to his feet, winded from the blast. He thinks he's alright, but now he's certain he and Serena are trapped. The fire is too vicious and far too deadly for them to escape from here without help. Ric wonders if those extra seconds they spent in the office after the fire alarm started have caused them to be trapped. Everyone else has seemingly escaped, or at least, he hopes they have.

Serena finally starts moving, and Ric realises he's never seen her so afraid. He's scared, but his keeping it at bay, nothing showing on his face – he's hiding it. There's no point worry about what might happen. She starts fumbling with the phone, desperate the make a call that she hopes will save them, but Ric knows it's not that easy. He highly doubts that the fire-fighters will be able to get to them, not with the fire being so close and so powerful. He hopes they will, but the cynic in him is rearing its ugly head. Before Serena's trembling fingers can dial the number the emergency services, Ric hears sirens and knows someone has got there before them. Serena's mobile starts ringing and it shocks Serena so much she drops the desk phone. Ric takes the few steps to the desk and calmly picks the mobile up.

He's never seen Serena look so scared. She's usually so calm and collected, never one to let her facade drop, but now, Ric is sure he can see the real Serena, the one who never shows herself – the one who actually cares.

"Ric Griffin. How can I help you?" He says, coolly. He knows panicking is not the answer to their problems. He relaxes slightly when he hears the voice of Edward. He sounds worried and Ric can hear the sound of sirens wiring in the background of the call. Edward asks where he is and Ric informs him that he and Serena are trapped in their office. He hears Edward utter a string of curses under his breath after his words. "The firemen are here now. They'll save you." Ric doesn't correct the other man and his optimism, even though Ric knows it'll take a miracle for the firemen to get to them before the fire.

He puts the phone down, telling Serena about the conversation with her ex-husband. She seems to have regained a bit of colour in her cheeks now and Ric is glad of this. He wouldn't admit it, but Serena being scared unsettles him more than the fire, to be brutally honest. He shrugs his jacket off, as the first of the smoke penetrates the room and Serena starts coughing. Ric kneels by the door, setting down his jacket in the crack between the door and the ground. He turns back; desperately trying to recollect what he was told the last time he attended a fire safety course. Damp, it should be damp, he remembers with a start. "Is there any water on my desk?" He asks, keeping his voice level. Ric doesn't want Serena any more agitated than she already is.

"No...no." She stutters. "But there is coffee." She continues, her voice more secure now. Ric gestures and as Serena hands him the cup with cold coffee sloshing dangerously in, he realises that he is a serial coffee neglecter. This particular cup he made over four hours ago, but so many things have happened since then, he forgot about it. He does this a lot, to be honest. He douses the jacket in the coffee without a second thought. He never really liked it, if he's being frank. Ric stuffs the jacket further under the door, hoping that it will be enough to tide them over until the firemen rescue them. He stands up, his old, tired knees clicking and straining as he crosses the room to a filing cabinet. He slides it open and roots around it, Serena watching him, eagle-eyed.

After a while, Ric finds what he's searching for. He pulls out a bottle of whiskey and sets it down on the desk, before reaching back in and drawing out two tumblers. "For emergencies." He tells her, as she eyes the booze warily and in surprise. Ric smiles as he unscrews the bottle and pours out two generous measures. He hands one to Serena and takes one for himself. He makes his way over to the furthest point in the room away from the fire, the least smoke filled corner. He slumps down the wall until he is sitting on the floor. Ric takes a swig of his whiskey as Serena joins him.

She takes a large gulp of her own drink, to try and calm her own fears. Ric isn't that scared to be truthful. He's stared death in the face before. He guesses that's the crucial difference between him and Serena now – why she's so terrified and he's so calm. They're both doctors and face death on a daily basis, but it's Ric who's had the more personal experience. He had cancer and he thought he was going to die, so death doesn't scare him anymore. So many people he has loved have died too, so he's had to cope with that too, which is worse – because you have to live without them. Death is hardest on the living. He highly doubts Serena has suffered as much loss as him - so many people he has cared about have died and he couldn't save them. It's different than when a patient dies, because you never expect it. It hurts more then.

She takes another large gulp of the liquid and Ric notices Serena has nearly finished her glass. He smiles. She turns to him after another minute of silence. "Do you think we're going to die?" The question takes him off guard, because it's so personal. Serena sounds genuinely scared and Ric wonders if the whiskey has loosened her tongue because he would have never expected Serena to talk like this, to be so open and honest about her feelings. "I don't want to die." Ric has to fight the urge to say that most people don't want to die but no one ever takes it into account. She finishes her glass and refills it, and they don't talk again until she's been sat back down for a few more minutes. "I didn't like you when I first started, you know. I thought you were a pushy old dinosaur who'd never get anything done." To say Ric is startled by Serena's comment would be an understatement. He starts laughing into his whiskey glass, before talking a sip himself. He thinks that Serena can't hold her whiskey that well and is just a little bit drunk.

"What about now?" He asks, looking up from his whiskey tumbler and turning to face his colleague.

"Meh." She says, shrugging. "You're okay." Ric smiles at Serena's words. He takes another sip of his whiskey, wondering how much longer they've got. He glances back up at the door, as Serena continues speaking. "You're quite good for a pushy old dinosaur." Ric can't help but laugh again, smirking into his whiskey. "I don't want to die." Serena adds, softly, and Ric realises that she's not as drunk as he thought she was. "I don't want to die and leave my daughter behind." Serena closes her eyes, smiling to herself at some unknown memory of her precious daughter.

It makes Ric feel a little guilty, talking about children. He hasn't seen any of his five kids in a long time, not even Jess, who he'd consider his closest child. Then there's Leo, because Ric was never there for his son when he needed him. To be honest, Ric's really failed at being a dad. He takes a swig of his whiskey, trying to hide the guilt with alcohol. He doesn't want to remember how he's managed to damage all his relationships with people he cares about.

"I wish I spent more time at home when Ellie was young." Ric wonders why she is tell him this – he knows it not all down to the drink, Serena wants someone to know how she feels, because she always keeps it bottled up. Not now, not when they are staring death in the face together. "Maybe then I wouldn't have messed up my marriage like I did." Ric turns to her now, for he was always under the impression that it was Edward's mistakes that led to the end of their marriage. "I spent too much time at work and Edward got lonely. It was both of our faults." Serena admits, as candidly as Ric has ever heard her. "I loved him, oh, I really, really did. I think I still do..." She says, softly, her voice trailing off, when she realises that she's admitting things that she's never really told anyone before. She takes a large gulp of her whiskey, smiling into her tumbler. "I thought that we loved each other enough to survive anything. Turns out I was wrong." Serena drinks again, sounding bitter. "I don't think true love exists, Ric, I really don't." She pauses, as she stares down at her nearly empty whiskey glass. "It's made up, no more fairy tales, really - that's what I think." Ric takes the final gulp of his drink, setting his tumbler on the ground beside them. "You're older than me, aren't you Ric? You've been married six times too; you must know more about love than poor old me. Do you believe in true love?" Serena says, tipping her glass at Ric as she speaks.

He stands up and pours himself another drink. Ric takes a gulp, the alcohol burning his lips and throat, but he's glad for the pain. The smoke's getting thicker now, but he can still see Serena and for this he's glad. He slips back down to next to her. "Ric?"

He drinks again, draining the glass and putting it down on the floor. "There was a woman once." He admits, softly, his eyes transfixed by the night sky outside. Stars are twinkling and shining, and the night is enveloped in a blue haze from all the emergency vehicles stationed outside. Ric hopes they firemen will find them. Serena has asked him a very personal question and here he is answering it without a second thought. It's because he wants to remember her and her smile and her voice and her eyes. "I loved her more than anything." He lets out a sigh. He hasn't talked about her in such a long time, he's tried to forget her but he couldn't. It's been eight long years without her and yet, it feels like yesterday that Elliot had found him in theatre and told him. He feels like he's going to cry and he realises that he hasn't cried since she died. "No, I _love_ her more than anything." He smiles, sadly, not trusting himself to look at Serena. "You ask me if I believe in true love, Serena. I tell you yes, I do."

"Was she one of your wives?"

"No." Ric's answer takes Serena by surprise. He can tell she thought he would say yes. But he's says no and it kills him, because he should be able to say that the woman he loves more than the whole entire world was his wife, but he can't because she wasn't. She would have been, if they hadn't been so stupid, so proud, so utterly, utterly ignorant.

"Find her then, Ric. Find this woman who you love and make her your wife." He smiles at Serena's murmured comment; taken aback that Serena would say something like that. She's an old romantic at heart, really, he thinks to himself. But she doesn't know, how could she?

"I can't."

"Ric, it doesn't matter what's happened in the past. All that matters is that you love her."

"Serena-"

"She loves you too, doesn't she? Oh, this would be so awkward if she doesn't..." She trails off when she sees the look on Ric's face. "Have I touched a nerve?"

"She died." He admits, quietly, a long moment later. "The woman I loved died and I stood back and let her." He says, bitterly. "It was my fault." He says, because it's true. She lost him support because he was stupid and tried to concentrate on Thandie and not her, and the only way he could do that was to distance her from him. It didn't work, because he loved her and not his fiancé.

"Oh, Ric, I'm so sorry..." Serena says, her head bowed. The smoke's much thicker now, and it's getting hard to breath. Serena starts coughing and then she can't stop.

"Take it from me, if you love someone, Serena, tell them and don't let them go." Ric advises, softly. They both know who they are talking about – Edward – because they both know there are things there that have been ignored for far too long.

"Thanks, Ric." She says, her voice strained but sincere. Ric closes his eyes, trying to concentrate on breathing, but all he can think about is her. He can see her as clear as day, hear her voice, remember how it felt to hold her. When he opens his eyes, he realises Serena is unconscious almost immediately. Ric tries to rouse her, but the smoke is thick now, burning his eyes and his lungs. He struggles for breath. He closes his eyes again, trying to think about her now, and his kids. Focus on the people he loves.

When he opens his eyes, there is another person in the room. Sitting, her legs outstretched in front of her, in between Ric and Serena is a woman Ric never thought he would see again.

"Diane." He croaks out, his voice raspy and grating. She looks up at him, her face lit up by a smile. Her eyes are dancing with a happiness he hasn't seen on her face, since well, since they were in Ghana together. The last time he held her...

Diane speaks quietly, softly, as if not to wake up Serena – though Ric is sure Serena wouldn't be able to hear even if she was awake. "Hello Ric." Her voice is the same is remembers it – except she's not angry. She always seemed to be angry with him in her final days, shouting and cry and breaking his heart. Ric didn't mean to, but he hurt her so much in those last few months.

"I love you." He says, softly, staring at her, captivated by her face, his voice catching on the word 'you'.

"I love you, too." Diane replies, equally softly, and Ric wishes he could hallucinate his ex-girlfriend/best friend/love of his life all the time, because he misses her so much. He misses her more than everything. Ric misses her so much is feels like a physical ache in his chest. She leans over and puts her head on his shoulder and Ric expects not to feel it, because she's not real, but he does, her weight pulling him down.

He sees her and all he can think about is the day before she die – the day that she cried and asked him about Ghana, about how they'd had something so special. She asked him what happened, looking so vulnerable and so, completely alone. He'd replied, his voice cold, that Ghana was another country. Ric has regretted his words every single moment since he said them, because Ghana may well be another country, but what happened there between them shouldn't have been ignored. They loved each other, but they were so stupid. Ric wishes they hadn't been.

"Do you remember Ghana?" He asks, wanting to keep her there for as long as possible, because she feels so real to him, it's like she's come back from the dead, resurrected to hold him as he dies. He wonders if she'll be there when he dies and gets to whatever is after death, if that's now or in the future. He hopes so.

"How could I forget?" Diane replies, smiling on his shoulder. Ric can't forget either. He remembers every single moment – everything is stored in his mind, crystal clear. It hurts too much to remember her, and how happy they were, so he hasn't thought about it in a long time. Ric remembers that he'd just watched her marry Owen, something that hurt more than he thought it would, and that she looked so beautiful on that beach. He remembers how she helped him save the pregnant woman who was in labour. Ric remembers how he told her that he never really tried to stop loving her.

He remembers that she was with Owen then, but for one night at least she was his. She admitted that she loved him and then they'd slept together, in the most innocent sense of the word - just lying side by side, holding hands and watching the stars. The next day, he told her to go home, to go back to her husband and she had. They never talked about what happened in Ghana till it was too late. Not until Ric had asked her if they could possibly be together again and Diane claimed she had moved on. Ric learned later that she hadn't.

She brought it up the day before she killed herself and he had dismissed it out of hand, because he didn't want to remember it, because he had been engaged to Thandie - safe, lovely Thandie who Ric didn't love, but was very good on picking up who he was actually in love with. He'd never answered Thandie in words when she had put to him that he was in love with Diane – he hadn't had to. It had been obvious that it had been so much more than friendship. Oh, why were they so stupid?

"I'm sorry." Ric says, softy, his voice choked and his eyes brimming with tears. Diane lifts her head off of his shoulder, before she answers.

"Don't be Ric." She pauses, looking him in the eye. "We both made foolish mistakes. Both of us. Not just you, Ric."

"I miss you."

"I'm sorry." Ric feels her hand slip into his, as he feels darkness overwhelming him. "I love you." She says, softly.

It's the last thing he hears before everything goes black.

...

When he wakes up in the hospital a few days later, the doctors having saved him, he cries because Diane isn't there.

...

Ric sits on his own in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling bored. He wants to get back to work, back to normal. The curtain to his cubicle is opened and he looks up when he realises that it is Serena who is gracing his presence. They haven't talked since they were trapped in their office together and they both admitted some very personal things. Serena slips into the chair by his bed. Ric remembers someone telling him that Serena got off better than him, but not much better. It seems that she is allowed out of bed, but he still isn't yet.

"What was her name?" She asks, softy. Nothing more, nothing less. They both know who she is talking about.

"Diane. Diane Lloyd." Ric says, quietly.

They lapse back into silence.

...

A few weeks later, when they've both been back at work – in the shiny, new Keller – for a week or so, Ric takes her to see Diane's grave. He realises, as they are walking up the path to her grave, that he hasn't been here in far too long. He resolves to come and visit her much more often, to lay flowers, to talk to her, to remember her, to let himself miss her and love her, to let himself fall apart – to stop trying to trick himself into forgetting her and how much he loves her.

He and Serena stand by her grave for a long time, and after Serena makes her excuses, Ric sits down on the frosty grass and pulls his knees up to his chest. He talks to her, telling her about what's happened to him since she died, and he promises that he's going to come more often.

After a while, he starts crying. He does miss her; after all, it's natural.

...

Ric's glad that he's not the only one to have learnt something from their near death experience. A few days after Ric takes Serena to Diane's grave, he walks past Serena and Edward, having coffee. They are talking and laughing and it looks like Serena has taken his advice. He hopes that Serena will one day believe in true love like he does.

He tells Diane about the new development when he next goes to visit her. It helps, talking to her, even though she will never replies. Ric has fun imagining her responses. He imagines her shock at finding out that Jac is pregnant, her dislike of Serena, the shake of her head when he mentions Chrissie. Ric always feels better after going to see her. He misses her, but it makes the ache go away for a few hours.

But it always comes back when he's lying in bed at night, and he can feel her lying next to him.

...

_**Thanks for reading! **_


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